WIN!

Alright ladies, here is how you win and/or keep your man.

Going down US 52 tonight, a friend of mine and I are heading towards VBS. While at a stop light, my friend looks over and notices a girl leaning over to give her boyfriend/other male friend... ...let's call it "oral relations". Well, this girl all of a sudden notices that we have spotted her in the act of giving said oral relations. BUT, and this is key ladies, SHE KEPT GOING!! Like, not even giving it a second thought. When we passed we started clapping, and she did too. This is exactly how you keep your man ladies. What's he gonna say..."no"? If he does, hit him with the nearest blunt object and get out of the car.

This message has been brought to you by the Society of People who Think Oral Relations are a Good Thing.
*End Transmission*

Concertino for Snare Drum and Electric Piano (2011)

Why do I always have ideas for things at the wrong time?

This piece is a perfect example of why I shouldn't just..."let my mind wander". Otherwise I'll end up with like 4 minutes of music and have no idea why I started it in the first place. The original idea was just to do something different. I like different stuff.

While this piece is titled "Concertino" (and that's ONLY a working title....it's not appropriate for the reasons I'm about to list)...it's actually waaaay closer to being in Rondo form than anything. Also, that's just waaay to general.

At any rate...expect me to be a little more inclusive about this piece as it nears completion. Since there's only two parts and I've tagged the piece at 6 minutes, should be more than a few weeks.

Enjoy the clip. Comments appreciated.

http://www.badongo.com/audio/25190680

Revenge of Lily Aldrin's Mom

......you know what? It's really weird when someone doesn't know when they have no idea when the phone has been hung up. Even more so...sometimes people don't where to end the conversation. I mean, you could just have the phone all up to your chest and they wouldn't even know that the conversation is over. I mean...that is a very parent-y thing to do. Therefore...you shouldn't do this...when you're under the age of 40!! Damn. I mean honestly.

Sorry...after current recent events since this morning.....I think that needed to be vented. Why? Because, people need to be a little bit more observant of conversational etiquette. Whee.

A Continuation[s] of a Partialy-Open Letter to the NFC West

Oh, and speaking of the other NFC West teams...

St. Louis...REALLY!?!?!?!?
I mean honestly...you had the chance to be the class[ish] of the NFC West***. Instead you go and lay an egg in a stadium where eggs are not meant to be laid. Except by the home team. Ugh, and to think I root for you guys....I can't handle this kind of stuff. I'm not a Bills fan. I like teams that win more than they lose.

San Fransisco...
Well....you'll always have the World Series. And...all that other questionable stuff that goes on in that city.

Arizona...
Weren't you guys in the Super Bowl recently....then draft a really highly regarded college QB? Then you have this season? The best laid plans....

---

So NFL, how are you gonna deal with this going forward? Continue to let this happen? Like I said, 5 other teams over .500. I think an even record should be a requirement. And no, I don't care if you are 6-6 in the conference. That means you only got 6 wins in your conference, but lost 6 in your conference. Usually not bad, but it is when everyone in your conference is under .500. Also, you got beat by 3 non-conference teams. In Seattle's case...the Saints, the Giants and the Broncos. 2 of those teams are over .500. The other....well....is the Broncos. OH, and guess who Seattle plays first round? The Saints. So, go team.

***You would have only had an 8-8 record...but 8-8 > 7-9.

A Partially-Open Letter to the NFC West

Okay, so I mean...I've watched a lot of sports in my day. I mean a lot of sports. But THIS is ridiculous. Let's take a look at the NFC west, shall we?

These stats include the Rams-Seahawks Sunday night game.

Seattle (7-9, 6-6 NFC West)
St. Louis (7-9, 5-7)
San Fransisco (6-10, 4-8)
Arizona (5-11, 3-9)

After the Seahawks ridiculously questionable shaming of the Rams, I would like to take a moment to tell everyone what this means. In the 2010/2011 edition of the NFL playoffs, the Seahawks (7-9) will be in the postseason. That's right, when you're looking for that playoff game that paves a road to Super Bowl XLV, the Seahawks (7-9) will be there.

The Seattle Seahawks (7-9, 6-6 NFC West) won the NFC West division crown after beating the Rams in Seattle 16-6. In a game that was far more questionable than any irrational number can provide...the Seahawks go and win their division, with a division record of 6-6 and an overall record of 7-9. That means that they at best were .500. That is ridiculous. I mean, there are FIVE TEAMS in the NFL with records better than 7-9, and none of them get to go to the playoffs. Why? Because, the divisions they play in are too good. Now I'm not saying the NFC West is bad...
...
...I'm saying it's terrible. When else would it ever be acceptable for a team to be under .500 and go to the postseason? It sure doesn't happen in baseball (although it nearly happened in the NL West several years back...more on that shortly), and you can't even get into the NIT or the NCAA tournaments with a losing record unless you magically win your conference tournament (doesn't happen often...only a few men's or women's basketball teams have actually won their conference tournament with a sub-.500 record). AND when that happens, it always begs the question....."Couldn't a better team be in that spot?"

The answer is yes (Exception, Purdue women's basketball 2007...still beat Utah in the first round: I'm open to suggestions of other exceptions...but there will be like....3).

So that said....the Seahawks get to HOST the defending Super Bowl champion New Orleans Saints. A team which lots of people are saying are over-rated. And I for one, I have to honestly agree. Brees is a great QB, but the Saints as a team in the Super Bowl last year, didn't exactly outplay the Colts. They just made 2 plays that determined the game. Is that an outplay? Absolutely not. Just a matter of the game, and the game is the game. Me as a Colts fan and a Purdue fan, I was 50-50. I'm happy Drew Brees got his ring, and that's important. Where was I? Oh yeah, New Orleans...completely over-rated.



...Oh. But in my mind....will still produce the following score:
New Orleans 44 (Brees: 4 TD, 1 INT)
Seattle 3 (Whoever QBs, 3 INT)

And if (when?) the Saints come to Seattle to take a dump on your field...they will leave...with you (the Seattle fans) in tears....to the tune of "When the Saints Go Marching In"....played on a drum machine.....with 2 dead seahawks.

Big Ten Divisions Announced

Okay, so as all or most of you know, the Big Ten was split into 2 divisions with the addition of Nebraska. So finally, after a lot of debate, the divisions [which are currently unnamed] break down like this:

Division 1: Michigan, Nebraska, Iowa, Michigan State, Minnesota and Northwestern

Division 2: Ohio State, Penn State, Wisconsin, Illinois, Purdue and Indiana

Is this a good alignment? Well, yes. Of course. HOWEVER, there's two groups of people who are upset about the alignment: Ohio State fans and Michigan fans. Let's look at why they're so damn angry.

For many many years, "The Game" has been played at the same time each year. This divisional alignment could potentially alter that and force "The Game" to be played as the Big Ten Conference Championship Game. So why is that such a bad thing? Well, for Ohio State, it really doesn't. For Michigan, different story. Since the take-over of Rich Rodriguez, Michigan has been terrible. Really terrible. So to be honest, if Michigan and Ohio State don't play every year, so what? That rivalry means nothing now, because it has almost always culminated in Michigan getting stomped on and having the country laugh at them.

So yeah Michigan fans go ahead and complain "But, but, The Game is important". No it isn't. It ultimately right now just culminates in one more loss in your loss column. And, that likely will be the case for many years [unless you get someone in there that's like....good]. Now, does this mean all the great rivalries in the Big Ten are in ruins?? Of course not!! The Big Ten wouldn't do that. The Big Ten does listen, so calm down. The Big Ten established protected rivalries...SO!

Purdue and IU, Minnesota and Iowa, AND Michigan and Ohio State will all still play each other. So before you get your panties in a bunch, remember, those rivalry games are important to the conference.

So who comes out the winner in the split? Next season? Probably Nebraska. The play every one of the bowl teams next season. Ouch. But Nebraska is a great football team, they'll get through that relatively unscathed.

Ummmmmm........except......

What about basketball? If you haven't noticed, for basketball, Division 2 is ridiculously loaded. I think the smart thing to do (although they wouldn't listen to me) is to only divide the conference for football only. Besides basketball, the conference is pretty well balanced in every other sport (ummm.....it'd be a wasted point to talk about volleyball though, Penn State hasn't lost in like 3 years). So, ultimately, splitting the conference into two divisions; good for some, bad for others, I don't know. I just think it's gonna be interesting to see how teams treat Nebraska next year and the following years. I mean, that's one of the best defenses in the country.

But all that aside, strap on your seat belts, the 2010 season is about to start.

The 7 Day Bender

So what originally started as a 3-day birthday bender has turned into a 7 (-1) day bender of deliciousness and pain. After this, I probably won't drink for like 3 weeks because I'm not gonna feel like it. Me and booze are gonna have to take a break from each other because booze(he or she) is acting like a hussy. And I do not have the time to waste on hussies right now. Short post, but prepare for a MUCH longer one tomorrow. This is me warming back up to blogging after a short hiatus.